The Federal Bureau of Incoherency


FINAL UPDATE April 18th, 2010






The Chart

About This Chart: 

Since the boards were founded, the requirements for ranks have been kept a secret.  The only way to determine the requirements is by finding people with the lowest requirements for each rank and placing them in a chart.  Previous charts have been posted on the Boards, but due to HTML restrictions, it is no longer possible to create an actual "chart" on the ASMB, so I created this one in order to keep track of the ranks. 

Please keep in mind that many of the ranks are still inaccurate. According to Ceej, most of them are in the right order and relatively accurate, but there may be some issues here and there. 

This chart is only to be used for ranks that are based on statistics, and ranks that give special powers/privileges/status. It does not include various custom ranks, promotional ranks for new adult swim shows, or ranks having to do with a particular holiday/theme, all of which are temporary and have no qualifications.  A list of those ranks can be found here


1.  If you have stats that are LOWER than the ones listed for your rank, please post them here. Please don't post in that thread if

     your requirements are in accordance with what the chart says. 

2. If all of your stats are higher than the stats of the rank you are trying to achieve, and after a few minutes and a few browser

     refreshes you do not have that rank, please mention it. We will try to help you determine why you haven't achieved your rank


3. Do not post about custom ranks or temporary gimmick ranks in the thread.  I am not going to put them on the chart. Instead,

     post them here

4. You can use this site to determine the amount of time you have been registered. Please note that you are very likely to skip

     ranks; it's practically impossible to achieve all of the ranks listed on this chart. 



If you want to learn more about Custom Ranks and temporary Promotional ranks, somebody is working on a chart here

Post Your Stats Here

Click here for Ceej's rank chart

A Little History

On April Fools Day, 2008, virtually every rank in the ASMB was changed to "SwimFool", creating total chaos.  When the dust settled, the ranks were changed again, but not to their original state: ranks like "SwimDork" "SwimCookie" "SwimDude" and "SwimNinja" began popping up.  Because there were so many of them, and because many ranks had the same color, it seemed as though there was no corebetween ranks and requirements.  At first the new ranks were regarded as an extended part of the april fools joke, but after they remained for several days we began to realize that they were permanent and had actual basis in requirements. 

 I created this chart in order to track the new ranks almost as soon as they appeared.  At first the chart was mocked as a waste of time, but as more and more time passed and the ranks remained, people began to flock to my thread in order to help establish some idea of what the new requirements were.  Slowly, we began to make connections and put the ranks in order.  In the early days I had to attend to dozens of changes every single day; now I'm lucky if there's a change in a whole month.  

The Old Ranks are still there; in the chart, they are in bold so that you can recognize them. 

I hope it's helpful to you.